I dropped off my youngest child at college six weeks ago. Six weeks before that, my oldest moved out of state with his partner in hopes for a different life and employment. I deeply worry about him and the health of their relationship. Then I flew from college drop-off to move the middle child for her senior year in college. Finally, my husband picked me up and drove to our second home, a construction zone to live.
I drove into the perfect storm of construction mayhem, no community or friends, no children at home with their friends and life of activities. No job, career or greater purpose. Hi, I am at the bottom of a midlife empty nest pit.
I have passively and purposefully let some dreams and aspirations disappear from my life. My real estate career and brokerage closed at the end of the year. I didn’t have the motivation to be an entre/solopreneur. I know I need to work and be around people. During the pandemic with some therapy, I no longer wanted to chase a network marketing title like I once did for at least a decade. The volunteering and event planning I did for some great organizations were just temporary.
I feel like I now have nothing. Nothing but time and space to redefine and cast vision on the next 20 years of my life. Time to work at rebuilding a friendship with my husband. Time to think and reflect. Where do I want to live? Who am I? Who do I want to be and do with the next 5, 10, 20 years of my life?
At the bottom of this valley I feel sad, depressed and lonley. I know am not the only one who has traveled this journey. I don’t know where to go, think or feel, but this felt like a good first step. Step 1. Recognize the loss, feel the pain and decide not to camp out in it.
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